i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
