Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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