he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You can't special order awesome
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
