A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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