Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
