is your mom at the bar?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
