Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
