just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
