i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
