Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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