At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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