they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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