bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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