It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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