Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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