My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
