My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
