A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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