I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
