I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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