You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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