I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
