So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Randomize
