I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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