i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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