Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
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My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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