I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
