You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i don't like sucking hair
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
