remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
