They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
