and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
