When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
