I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
i now understand why vodka
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
