thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
