It's Friday. Sex?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
