Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
