Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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