ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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