She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
