is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
