Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
