btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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