I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
please don't ironically join a cult
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