he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
