what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
