im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
i need some magic done to my vagina
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
