I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize