Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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