I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
