u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Randomize
