Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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