i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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