I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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