Im at strip club and am horny
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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