It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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