ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize