i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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