i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
