There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Life is so much better after having sex.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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