..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize