about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
