Will you blow on my dice?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
