i think my mom watched the whole time
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
