She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
