It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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