no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
